Every time you pick up a paper or turn the TV on, you're made aware that yet another high profile or famous person is guilty of breaking their wedding vows by cheating with one or more people. Be it a politician, an athlete, and entertainer or just the guy next door, it seems that cheating on your spouse just because you feel like it is in these days.
When did that happen? When and why did cheating become so in vogue and such a quick reaction to whatever ails a person in a relationship?
Has it always been that way, or are we just seeing it more because it's now considered news? At one time such indiscretions would never have been posted in your daily newspaper, but nowadays they make the front page more often than we want to see.
And what exactly makes a cheater cheat?
We all see how much in love a couple usually is on their wedding day, how much trouble and care is taken to even create special wedding vows, to invite everyone in the world to witness the special event in your life, and in some cases spend a boatload of cash to get it all done.
But then, no matter how much in love they seemed in the beginning, how meaningfully the vows were spoken and how right they seemed for each other at the start, eventually, either one spouse or the other decides to start looking at and rolling around in some supposedly greener pastures elsewhere.
It seems to be that it's not a matter of IF a spouse is going to cheat on ypu, it's more a case of WHEN. It's said that men still cheat in higher numbers than women, but watch out, guys...the girls are catching up!
Whether it's cheating as revenge, perceived neglect, to feed one's ego, or just to make up for the loneliness felt when your spouse is out laying it down with someone else, this is a trend that doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon.
So, are we really cheating more, or is it just more publicized? Do you personally know anyone who's cheating? How about your close friends? Or is it something that the cheater just keeps to him/herself? If you found out that your spouse cheated on you, would you forgive them, or would that be the absolute end of the marriage/relationship?
Some of my friends have admitted to cheating. I do not feel it is right. They think of it as the norm. What is the world coming to. If my wife cheated on me how could I ever trust her again. And the same goes for me. I would never do it.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, we are not cheating more. Just that it's more out in the open now and we hear about it all the time. My Dad cheated on my Mom, and my husband cheated on me...so...been that way for hundreds of years I guess. And no, I did not forgive. It was the last straw in a long series of problems. I left. I'm a lot happier now.
ReplyDeleteWomen tolerance, for this behavior from men has been, with no doubt, one of the causes of the rise of infidelity.
ReplyDeleteIn the past I have cheated like crazy, because I just liked to taste something different.... I may add I'm older and wiser now.
ReplyDeleteMy personal believe is that you should never forgive a cheater because that is too easy and believe me they will be doing it again sometime soon. The only way for a cheater to learn is for them to feel some real pain by losing someone they think they care about. Only then are they likely to change, but probably not.
The thing with most cheaters and I was no exception, you think you are too smart to get caught.
I personally think it is so much easier to cheat nowadays due to the internet. You can go online and and within a couple of days you could have numerous people lined up for naughty fun, it is that easy and I know from experience.
I hope it does not become the norm. I can understand how some were compelled to do what they did, but once they realized their mistake, they will easily mend their ways. The bottomline is to make them understand that they made a mistake, if they really did.
ReplyDeleteWell, I can tell you all, I don't cheat, I won't cheat, and if you ever cheat on me, you can forget ever getting me back.
ReplyDeleteEx boyfriends that did that to me (actually two that I know for sure) can tell you that they have never been able to get back my friendship and respect again, and they won't get it back EVER. And they have tried for years!
Even though it's 10 years ago, or however long, I don't forgive or forget! I think that cheating has to do with a lack of integrity on the cheater's part. Once I know you lack integrity, and that you're willing to treat me so callously, you're dead to me. And that's that! ;)
William, damn, you really shared! thanks!
I think that most do believe they are too slick and smart, and ya know what? That just insults the other person's intelligence. I can tell you, the woman always knows! Men always manage to slip up in some way, and we females just have these instincts. I knew the second that my exes cheated - it was an immediate feeling. Crazy, but true!
Anyway, the internet does make it easy, and also people today seem to have less guilt or morals.
I've had married men flirt with me, try to get my number, and then tell me straight out "yes, I'm married, but I still want to get to know YOU. Me being married is not a problem". Seriously???? Today, too many people have NO shame! I kick those cads to the curb IMMEDIATELY, by the way. The nerve!!! :O
Nowadays, it is very common, especially since the media makes it like it happens everywhere and to everyone. It is really not a good thing as it might influence teenage thinking.
ReplyDeleteMaybe hese couples should formulate their own wedding vows instead of repeating what the pastor instructs them to say?
ReplyDeleteIn so doing, they could at least get the record straight from the get go, in front of all witnesses in attendance. :)
Cheating is one denominator that surprisingly unites both gay and straight folks. So, you're not alone ;)
I agree that the media has highlighted cheating recently. Besides, life has changed a lot; many things which were once considered freak or shameful are now acceptable. For me, I can't tolerate being cheated; I don't think that I can forgive and trust any more someone who once cheated me.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think infidelity is a luxury for the very rich and diversion for the very poor. Most hardworking middle of the road people I know are too tired, busy and broke to cheat.
ReplyDeleteI just think there is a general lack of respect in the world today... I don't know when it happened, I guess before my time, but my parents and grandparents taught me about it! I just wish everybody did!
ReplyDeleteI think it is already a norm,but to say the truth infedelity is bad.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me really sad. Trust and loyalty is everything in a marriage/relationship. Without trust, love is not a virtue.
ReplyDeleteI personally can't throw any stones, for my first marriage (married very young and quick, knew each other less then a month). That being said it stays with me to this day and while it hurt then, it made me a better person now. I know the old saying once a cheater always a cheater, but people do cheat for so many varied reasons. I can personally say, you do learn from your mistakes and I do not take anything for granted anymore as far as having a loving partner in my life.
ReplyDeleteThe media for people in the spotlight is blinding, but that is part of the burden they must bare in being a celebrity. I don't look at people like Tiger to be a role example, but they do have a responsibility not only to their spouse, children and family. But also they get paid very well to be this "knight" or virtuous persona.
Maybe a person can make one bad decision, but having a girl in every port is very demeaning to his beautiful family.
For the life of me, I cannot understand why someone would stay with a person who did something so grievous and on numerous occasions. That took premeditation.
Great post and I was coming here for some workout motivation. :-)
I do not know when it happened,but I think the media is to blame,this is a sad way to get you 15 minuites of fame.That and the lack of morals.
ReplyDeleteYou mad a promise to GOD when you put that ring one.If a "man" wanted more that one woman he never should have gotten married.
My first husband cheated on me. I won't make excuses for him but 20 years later I can say that it was no surprise given how young we were when we were married, how we didn't know each other long enough, and how so many other things out of our control happened in that first year. However, all those things happened to both of us and it never once crossed my mind to cheat.
ReplyDeleteHalf of married couples have an extramarital affair at some time in their marriage. I agree that the Percentage increase due to media/ technology, from online chat and calling. They are becoming emotionally involved with someone, having online relationship until they focused their attention and feeling to the chatmate/ someone instead to their partner.
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of friends have done this and broke up their marriage because of another guy they met online.
"Has it always been that way..."
ReplyDeleteYep, our early ancestors had no concept of a "relationship". Just mating, populating the Earth, taking care of the child till they can survive on their own and moving on.
When compared to the entire timeline of the human species, "monogamy" is a relatively new idea. An idea that our instinctive and unconscious "lizard" brain hasn't caught up with.
I've heard 1/2 the marriages nowadays end in divorce, and many of them are due to cheating. I always thought that number was high. I tried to think how many people I knew were divorced, and it didn't look like half of them. But apparently it is far more widespread than I thought. I have heard of quite a few online-affairs ending up with real life encounters over quite the distance. The internet seems to make everything easier.
ReplyDeleteYes, But they are not able to cheat them always.Trust among themselves is the key factor to build the relation.
ReplyDeleteI think it's safe to say no male celeb can keep their sausage in their trousers.
ReplyDeleteOk, I have been waiting, and waiting. I read the post, the comments, and I haven't seen it.
ReplyDeleteWhen a Man, cheats on a women, will it be called..."Tigered"..."Wooded"..."Woodsed"?
When a Woment. cheats on a man, will it be called..."LeAnned"..."Rimesed"?
So many more to choose from, when it's Men vs Women. Are Women just better at cheetin', and don't get caught?
Peace.
@ Don: There's someone who knows his pop culture!
ReplyDeleteGreat way of looking at cheating appellations. :D
Why do people get married if they don't want to be monogamous? It would be so much easier to just stay single if you want to leave your options open.
ReplyDeleteI don't think people are cheating any more than before. I think they are being caught more. Also, society has pushed infidelity to the forefront. Before, when people cheated, people turned a bling eye. Now it's broadcast on every news channel.
ReplyDeleteI don't think its "the norm." I just think it makes for a more sensational story that attracts more viewers. Also, people that are the support network sometimes have the attitude "whatever anyone wants to do is fine and who am I to say?"
ReplyDeleteCheating in NOT the norm...It's so saddening how "glamorous" cheating has become. It's awful. Our society is pushing sex sex sex in our faces constantly, and the "perfect" bodies that cover billboards, magazines, the television. Real women are made to feel inferior, less desirable to their husbands and boyfriends. Look at Tiger, his wife is a supermodel! He cheated with dozens of women. What a disgrace.
ReplyDeletei agree with the first comment by Grampys World and also what "shaine" commented.
ReplyDeleteyea now such cases can be heard about gals as well, yea the girls are catching up nowadays.
i have personally seen many married gals having an extra affair besides her hubby. But dont know is it good or bad ? is there anyway to stop such things ?